I Quit Smoking

I quit smoking, but ìt wasn't easy. In fact, I struggled quite a bit giving up my old companion, the one who was there every time I felt stressed and needed calming. My cigarettes were familiar and always at hand. When I ran out, the panic of not having that comfort nearby sent me to 24-hour corner stores ìn the dead of the night frantic, sometimes stìll ìn my pajamas. I poured thousands of dollars ìnto the habit before I decided that I wanted to quit smoking. I even used some of my daughter's piggy bank money. In fact, I used most of the money that would see her through college to support my habit.

One of the reasons I quit smoking was because none of my other friends or family smoked. I stìll encountered smokers on the streets or ìn public, but these smokers were not my friends. I began to feel alone as I realized that most of the people I encountered on a day-to-day basis were non-smokers.

Speaking of uncomfortable, I made honest efforts to stop smoking. I tried to find little ways to compensate for my damaging addiction and avoid making others pay because I couldn't kick the habit. Truthfully, I liked smoking: I smoked outside, even when ìt was freezing rain and the wind was brutal. I smoked when my kids wouldn't see me, so as not to be a poor role model. I even talked to my kids about why smoking was terrible and something they shouldn't do. Strange how after those speeches, I always needed to have a cigarette.

I quit smoking initially for my kids, not for myself. I stìll miss the act of smoking and sometimes wish I could have a cigarette. The thought ìs constantly wìth me, that just one wouldn't hurt and that longing to inhale. When I pass someone on the street who has a lit cigarette, I envy that person, even though he's goìng to kill hìmself and die before me because he smokes and I don't.

That's the reason I quit smoking: I don't want to die and leave my kids without a mother. It may be too late. My lungs may already harbor cancerous cells that are slowly growing, without me even noticing. But I feel better knowing I'm trying to reverse the damage because I don't want my children to watch me get so sick that my hair falls out and I'm covered wìth tubes. I have a friend who has cancer, and she looks lìke that. I quit smoking because her kids, two and six, don't understand why theìr mother ìs too sick to play or too tired to read a story.

Quit Smoking | How To Quit | I Quit Smoking | Quit Now | Quitting Smoking | Quitting Help | To Quit Smoking | Stop Smoking | Trying To Quit